What Is Family Mediation?
Family mediation is a confidential, voluntary process in which a trained, impartial mediator helps separating couples reach agreements on:
- Where children will live and how much time they spend with each parent
- Division of the family home, savings, pensions, and other assets
- Maintenance payments for a spouse or children
- Business interests, debts, and liabilities
Agreements reached in mediation are not automatically legally binding, but they can be converted into a consent order by a solicitor and approved by a court, giving them full legal force.
What Is a Separation Agreement?
A separation agreement (sometimes called a "deed of separation") is a written contract setting out how the parties will manage finances, property, and child arrangements while separated. It is particularly useful for:
Note: A separation agreement carries significant weight in later divorce proceedings when properly drafted by a solicitor with full financial disclosure on both sides.
The MIAM — What to Expect
A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is a one-to-one session with a MIAM-qualified mediator. It is not mediation itself — it is an information meeting during which the mediator:
- Explains the mediation process and whether it suits your situation
- Screens for domestic abuse or power imbalances that might make mediation inappropriate
- Assesses whether legal aid-funded mediation is available
- Issues a signed Form FM1 confirming attendance (required before most court applications)
A MIAM typically lasts 45–60 minutes. The other party attends separately. Both parties must attempt the MIAM — they do not have to agree to proceed to full mediation.
Common Situations We Help With
Consent Order vs Separation Agreement
- Made during or after divorce proceedings
- Submitted to court for a judge's approval
- Fully legally binding once sealed
- Provides a "clean break" — prevents future financial claims
- Can be made before or without divorce
- Does not require court approval
- Contractually binding but court can depart from it
- Can be converted into a consent order later
How Long Does the Process Take?
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1
Week 1 — Solicitor consultation & MIAM
Your solicitor advises on options and costs, and you attend your MIAM if proceeding to mediation. Legal aid eligibility is assessed at this stage.
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2
Weeks 2–8 — Joint mediation sessions
Couples typically need 3–5 joint sessions (each ~90 minutes), weekly or fortnightly. Your solicitor advises between sessions but is not present in the room.
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3
Week 8–10 — Memorandum of Understanding
The mediator produces a written summary of what was agreed. Your solicitor reviews this before you commit to the final document.
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4
Week 10–14 — Consent order or separation agreement
Your solicitor drafts the formal legal document. A consent order is filed with the court and approved by a judge (usually without a hearing) within 4–8 weeks.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is mediation compulsory before going to court?
Since April 2024, attendance at a MIAM is compulsory before most private family law court applications (rules 3.6–3.10 FPR 2010, as amended). Exemptions exist for domestic abuse, child safety concerns, urgency, or where one party lives abroad. A solicitor can advise on whether an exemption applies.
Can I get legal aid for mediation?
Yes. Legal aid is available for family mediation (including MIAMs) where you meet the means and merits criteria. If one party qualifies, the other's MIAM is also free. Your mediator can carry out the legal aid assessment at the MIAM. This is one of the areas where legal aid remains widely available after LASPO 2012.
What if the other person refuses to attend mediation?
If the other party refuses to attend a MIAM, you can still proceed to court — the mediator signs the FM1 confirming non-attendance. Courts may take a negative view of unreasonable refusal when making costs orders. You are not forced to reach an agreement through mediation.
How much does family mediation cost?
A MIAM costs approximately £90–£150 per person. Joint sessions cost £100–£250 per person per hour. A full mediation process (3–5 sessions) typically costs £1,000–£3,000 per person, compared to £10,000–£30,000+ in contested court proceedings.
Is a separation agreement legally binding?
A separation agreement is binding in contract law, but courts have power to depart from it if unfair on divorce. For maximum enforceability: have it drafted by a solicitor, ensure both parties take independent legal advice, and make full financial disclosure.
Can we do online mediation?
Yes. Remote mediation via video call is widely available and court-accepted. All stages — MIAM, joint sessions, and "shuttle mediation" — can be done online. It is often more convenient and slightly cheaper than in-person sessions.